According to Jung, there are certain  primordial images that are part of the collective unconscious. These archetypes are universally recognizable and tend to elicit consistent emotional responses in humans regardless of culture, class or education…

Sure, I’m running late. Extremely late. And it’s not like this isn’t a recurring event. And I’m sleepy. If I had to assess my inner state right now, I’d say it’s an emotional cocktail of guilt, exhaustion, hunger and restlessness. Shaken.You might be thinking, ‘Hey, why don’t you get off your ass and just go wherever it is you need to go?’

Why does my toe hurt? Like, really hurt? No mail again. Does my mailman hate me? My flowers are dead. Am I hungry? Crap. Forgot the new crossword puzzle. What the hell was up with that dream last night? Where was I? My iPod is still on! Annoying. Wait. Am I hungry?
– My Brain (from ‘My 40-Foot Walk From Car to Porch’ -Abr. ed.)

I was sitting in a Texas-themed resort hotel drinking $15 margaritas with My Geek Friend and His New Biggest Fan. Apparently $15 is a totally acceptable price to pay for a margarita if you’re a high-level geek with a loosely-monitored expense account…

A long, long time ago, I had a dream. Or maybe it was just a thought. Maybe a recurring thought. Okay, origins are not important. I’ll just relate it:

I’d be walking down the street and some random man would end up walking next to me at the exact same pace…

I walked in and took a seat at the table. 5:59 p.m.

A smallish man in a short-sleeved plaid shirt stood behind the podium. He smacked the gavel on the table and called the meeting to order. I looked at my phone. Six o’clock on the dot…

Believe it or not, Satanists are pretty much just like you and me. This is assuming, of course, that you and mewore black trench coats and played with big foam swords in the courtyard outside my college dorm. Which I did not do. But still.

Any archangel who’s capable of being everywhere at once would definitely know the correct pronunciation of his own name. I have come to this drastic conclusion based upon an ingenious logical proof I devised the other day while having coffee with my friend…